New Years Eve

"You don't just give up on the ones your love." I'd give almost anything right now to run, grab, hug and kiss you. So tight.  No matter how mad I was to you. What we had, I may not ever have again. It was passionate. It was real. When it was just us and in the moment, that was it. Just us. Nothing mattered. Truly like what you read in poems.  It was love.  Still is.  I have let go of you and moved on but that doesn’t mean my love has ended. That’s why I write here.  I miss you babes. So much. So fucking much. 

I never know where to begin with these. It’s always me with a thought and then sitting in one spot for a long moment to figure out how to put that thought into words.  Today is your birthday and since you went away I always said that I would make this day into a celebration. Celebrate your life and try not to be sad. It's only been 2 years but I feel that it has become easier. But easier cause I forced myself to move on. There was a time at the beginning where I knew I was getting into a hole and starting to slip. Sometimes I would let myself slip because it's OK to cry to let out the emotions ever so often. But since there, I tell myself, "OK you need to stop doing this and move on." Like in the back of my mind I thinking it's fucked up. Like how can I who loved someone so much, possibly never find another, say, "hey stop it. Go do this. Go do that. It's just another day." But I have to. Am I too real of a person? Does it show that my intelligence i...