Thought

"Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation."

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If Only

"You don't just give up on the ones your love." I'd give almost anything right now to run, grab, hug and kiss you. So tight.  No matter how mad I was to you. What we had, I may not ever have again. It was passionate. It was real. When it was just us and in the moment, that was it. Just us. Nothing mattered. Truly like what you read in poems.  It was love.  Still is.  I have let go of you and moved on but that doesn’t mean my love has ended. That’s why I write here.  I miss you babes. So much. So fucking much. 
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Blessing in Disguise

Another person has told me, “It’s a blessing that you two weren’t together when they passed. That’s Gods will.” As I try and process those words carefully, I can’t help but to think that that is selfish to say. You’re essentially saying, “Thank God you weren’t with them cause that would have been so much more painful.” And they are right, it would have been. And I’ve always said that things would have been handled differently if we were still together. Yes there would have been more obstacles as far as their moms side of the family. The secrets and unanswered questions. The trouble of trying to instantly figure out where I should lie and tell the truth. Or the what if I told the lies and they pass then I’m stuck with having to tell the truth after the fact. But none of that mattered. I just continued on and answered questions as vaguely as possible. Their mom asked if I would drive her home. Her house was just down the street from mom and her brother lived in the opposite direction. ...
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