Thought

"Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation."

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Let the Guilt Settle

Surprisingly I had an ok day. I was down at first but then got up and had a pretty normal day. Almost to the point, and probably at the point, of feeling guilty about it. But I made a decision that I will not give more energy than I need to give to this day. I want to celebrate him. This was by far the worst day of my life. Those thoughts and feelings I had 2 years ago was the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I wish I could go back on that day and give myself a hug. But I knew I was going to be ok. I was surrounded by my closest friends. Our family that we had become apart of and stuck together through the years. There was so much love. So I will wait for his birthday next month, and spread happiness to myself. Lift myself up. Continue on. I will continue to search for more songs and quotes that express how I am feeling since I can not find the words. And I probably will for the rest of my life. It’ll always hang over me. But that’s fine. I will be fine. It just shows my...
Read more

What If

The past couple of months have been so interesting to me. As I continue to move on, I find myself getting more and more accepting of what has happened. And I feel completely guilty of it. How can I say that he was the love of my life, my best friend and that I’m “ok” with it now? There is no doubt in my mind that I will always grieve him. I can talk about him with most people pretty comfortably and be ok with it. Because I would want his memory to live on. I mean we were together for nearly 6 years. Together with me and my family, living in our home. We all have memories. But then there are times where I can barely think of him and I fall to pieces. I just find it interesting how in one moment I am ok with it and the next I can’t bare the thought. Is this part of grieving? They say everyone grieves differently. I just find my situation so unique. I am the girl that was at his side for so long. Every knew who we were as a couple. Then a year after we split he is gone. What kind of p...
Read more

If Only

"You don't just give up on the ones your love." I'd give almost anything right now to run, grab, hug and kiss you. So tight.  No matter how mad I was to you. What we had, I may not ever have again. It was passionate. It was real. When it was just us and in the moment, that was it. Just us. Nothing mattered. Truly like what you read in poems.  It was love.  Still is.  I have let go of you and moved on but that doesn’t mean my love has ended. That’s why I write here.  I miss you babes. So much. So fucking much. 
Read more